


Corrupted

by paragadesluster



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Corrupted TW, Corruption, F/M, Lyrium Withdrawal, Red Lyrium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4016695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paragadesluster/pseuds/paragadesluster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my submission for Dragon Age Big Bang 2015 - Canon-Divergence AU - Cullen Rutherford never became the commander of the Inquisition's forces, instead he is part of Corypheus' plan to dominate the world. Once captured it remains to be seen if his reasons were pure or not. There is only one thing Renessa Trevelyan knows: she needs to know why she keeps coming to his prison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corrupted

He doesn’t know where he is. He only knows he is laying down on a mattress and he is warm. Ungodly warm. He tries to pull his wrists toward his chest but he cannot move. His wrists are shackled to the wall on either side of him. His eyelids lift slowly revealing his amber colored eyes to an empty room. He swallows dryly trying to call out for help. His head moving restlessly as his eyes try to find a way out of this mess. He needed to leave. He had to do…something. He shook his head to clear it. There was…something important that needed him. He closed his eyes and threw his head back on the mattress his arms relaxing in defeat. 

He knew his name. Cullen Rutherford. He remembered the Blight in Ferelden, his reassignment to Kirkwall and the hell that befell his city there. Everything afterwards was…blank. All he knew was that he was in this bed and his mouth tasted of the iron that comes before vomiting. Choking back his stomach’s reaction he opened his eyes and focused on the wooden ceiling above him. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, though he could not even see the color of his own skin he could see a lighter shade of darkness that existed outside of this room. There was a crack in the roof above his head where he could just make out the barest glimmer of a star. 

A sound far off turned his head to the left, though his vision was obscured by his bicep he strained his neck to try to make out where the noise had come from. Light seeped into his room through a crack in the door. The inconsistent light paused outside his prison and then moved on. Torchlight, he thought, setting his head back down on his bed. He sighed and closed his eyes his back sticking uncomfortably to the sheet underneath him as he relaxed. Maker, he did not feel good. With nothing else to consume his thoughts he retreated to the safety of his mind and to his years of Templar training and forced himself to rest. 

\--  
Renessa Annamarie Trevelyan was not good at being injured. 

“Sit down, you’ll tear your stiches.” Her twin brother Reese groused at her as she attempted to stand up from her bed. She took a tentative step and waved off his proffered hand. 

“I can walk, I’m not an invalid.” Reese put his hands on her shoulders to steady her wobbling as she tried to take another step. Green eyes locked with green as Reese made Renessa look at him. 

“Yes. You. Are. The prisoner isn’t going anywhere. He would have to get through not only his two guards and the 100 people in the main hall but he would also have to get through Lady Vivienne. Which I would love to see him try. But, he is still sleeping and so should you.” He said trying to get her to lay back down. 

“I have been here for a week. And if I have to spend one more moment looking out of a balcony at a world I can’t go see I will go mad. Now. Are you going to help me or do I have to fall down the stairs after you leave to prove my point?” Renessa glared at her brother. He held his own for a few moments before sighing and slipping her arm around his shoulder. 

“Alright, but when you can’t walk tomorrow, I will be the one to say I warned you.” Renessa smiled hugely and leaned into her brother, aiming them towards her staircase. “Dorian is going to kick my ass for this.” Reese muttered under his breath as they walked. Renessa laughed shortly and put all of her effort into getting to the stairs. She needed to get out of this damn room before it killed her. 

She had been injured while obtaining the Well of Sorrows from Corypheus. His lieutenant Cullen had brought a handful of men - one of which had cut her deep in her thigh during the fight after she had used up her last healing potion on her belt. Luckily, Dorian and Reese had managed to kill the abominations and knock Cullen out using Dagna’s enchantment to get his armor off. He had been passed out for over a week; the Inquisition healer’s agreed that he was in bad form. The armor had taken its toll on the man. His veins were inflamed with red lyrium and his eyes glimmered red when they fought in the Arbor Wilds. Everyone knew the long term effects of the corruption, Renessa was just hoping for enough lucidity for him to tell her what she needed to know. 

And she couldn’t bloody well ask from sitting on her ass all day. 

Reese took all of her weight on his shoulder and got her down the stairs and into the main hall. There were a few people out – mostly kitchen staff preparing for breakfast in the predawn light – but the room was mostly empty. Reese led her to the circle tower, past Solas’ empty study, breathing harder as they wound around and around up the stairs. They passed Dorian’s usual spot and Reese breathed a sigh of relief that Dorian wasn’t there to scold him. He had always had a hard time telling his Renessa no. 

They stopped to catch their breath for a moment on the second landing, just outside Vivienne’s parlor. Reese staring at Renessa as she leaned against the railing – keeping her weight off of her injured leg. Reese shook his head at her and swinging her arm back around his shoulder they pushed on past Vivienne’s usual spot where she sat looking as put together as always. She waved as they passed and continued eating her breakfast. 

As they finally approached the door to the prisoner’s room the two guardsmen approached saluting stiffly. Reese gestured for the key and one of the men, Beaumont she believed, reached for the key in his pocket, placing it in the lock and turned it with a click. The man stepped away and saluted again, turning to stand watch near the door in case he was needed. Renessa nodded at Reese as he dropped her arm and opened the door grabbing the guard’s torch as he entered the room ahead of her. Renessa leaned against the door jam, the effort to get here laboring her breathing and made her stiches on her thigh pull uncomfortably. She waited as Reese lit the torches within the small room, revealing the naked torso of the prisoner called Cullen. Reese brought over a small chair to the man’s side and then returned outside with the torch – the light wind ruffling his short blonde hair as he walked. 

“He’s all yours.” Reese said leaning against the railing after he had given the torch back to the guard. Renessa grimaced towards the room. These final feet where just for her then. She stepped forward cautiously and took a huge step forward on her good leg to get her to the chair. Her injured leg shaking as she took her weight off of it. She sighed relieved and looked up at the prisoner her stitches pulling tight once more as she leaned forward. 

He was asleep or at least unconscious. His shirt was gone and he only wore a set of trousers to cover him. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his head was turned away from her. Her eyes took in the raw red marks covering every inch of his torso where the red lyrium still coursed through his veins. Some of the marks were huge, like the one running through the center of his chest to his heart and up his neck; others were smaller and branching out from the main line like a sadistic rendering of the anatomical structure. Her throat tightened as she swallowed her pity and turned her eyes away from the gruesome sight. He was tied to the bed by his hands and his feet keeping him restrained. The line of his body was tense even in his sleep, not wanting to startle him awake she spoke quietly.

“Commander Cullen?” He didn’t respond. She reached a hand out and touched him lightly on the arm. His skin was hot to the touch, it was the only thing that registered in her mind before his body spasmed and he thrashed on his bed screaming out the name Mia – his back arching cruelly as he attempted to get away from an invisible enemy. Renessa stood quickly ignoring her leg and put her hands on his shoulders trying to calm him as his cries grew louder and louder. He called for Mia and two other names she couldn’t make out. As her hands tried to hold him down she heard Reese rush into the room to assist her. His skin was burning more fiercely than before and more clammy than she had realized just looking at him. She called for the guard to go get Vivienne and Dorian as well as the mage healers. This kind of fever would ruin his mind if they didn’t get it under control. She cursed herself once more for not seeing to the prisoner’s injuries more personally. How long had his fever run unchecked? 

The guards ran off to perform their duty as Cullen thrashed wilder still against his restraints. Reese was at his knees trying to keep him from breaking the rope that kept him bound. Renessa tried valiantly to keep his chest down on the sheet, she spoke all sorts of nonsensical words to try and soothe his mind but nothing was working. With a snap the ropes binding his wrists broke and his arms were free. Before Renessa could even blink Cullen’s arms were around her waist and he had pulled her on top of him, burying his face in her neck as he breathed out the word “Surana”. His body calmed suddenly and he pressed her tightly against his chest, his hand coming around to cradle her head in a surprisingly gentle caress.

Renessa was frozen against the commander’s chest, the way his hands tightened around her was like nothing she had experienced before. The Trevelyans were a distant family – the only closeness she shared with any of her blood was her twin. 

Renessa glanced up at Cullen’s face which was now calm. It wasn’t exactly…unpleasant. She shook her head and berated herself for her weakness. Renessa took a deep breath to calm herself inadvertently letting the woodsy smell of Cullen fill her senses – he smelled inexplicably like home. She heard Reese come around to her right and crouch down next to the bed. His mouth was open and his brows were furrowed slightly as he assessed the situation. Cullen’s breathing had slowed and she could feel his heart beat strongly in his chest. 

“Well that was…strange.” Reese finally said standing back up and sitting in her vacant chair. Renessa sighed and tried to push away from Cullen and his distracting bare chest. She had only made it part way off of the bed before he started shaking again. Without thinking, she threw herself back on top of him, his body relaxing immediately as she made contact.

 

She was tense on top of him, his arms wrapping around her waist and keeping her there. She couldn’t relax into this, it was all too strange and not at all what she had expected when she had made Reese come up here. She had had a plan. She was supposed to smack him around a bit, get her answers about Corypheus’ plans and then leave him in the dungeon until they had won the war. She was not supposed to end up in his arms in his makeshift bed as his personal security blanket. Especially not with her brother sitting right next to her looking as smug as a cat with a canary. 

She heard a rush of footsteps coming towards the door and groaned in anticipation of the gossip that would be spread throughout Skyhold in a few hours. She didn’t pay her men well enough to keep this ludicrous situation under wraps. 

Dorian and Vivienne entered the room first, and to their credit only hesitated slightly before coming around next to Reese. Dorian stood near Reese his mouth smirking slightly as he opened his mouth.   
“Don’t say a word” Renessa said before he could start. “Just get me out of here.” Dorian nodded and glanced at Vivienne who was processing the facts of the scene before her. 

“Well, my dear, I could put up a glyph of paralysis around the bed, but that would only trap you too. The best course of action then would be to freeze him, as that will also help bring down his fever. It will however only last a few seconds and he will still be able to move slightly.” Vivienne quirked her hear at Renessa as she spoke, her calm demeanor made Renessa relax slightly. She’d be free in no time. 

“Just do it.” Renessa grunted out as Cullen’s arms flexed across her back and his face dug into her shoulder. It wasn’t unpleasant just…inappropriate. 

Vivienne glanced at Dorian who nodded thoughtfully. Removing her staff from her back Vivienne whirled it around her and struck the floor hard at the foot of the bed. Instantly, she felt Cullen grow still and cold as his breathing slowed and his arms relaxing slightly from around her. Reese stepped forward and gripped her by the waist and pulled her off of Cullen. As soon as she was clear, she saw Dorian’s staff make a series of complicated spins before coming to a rest at chest level. She glanced at the floor as the familiar rune surrounded the bed where Cullen lay. As soon as he had laid the glyph Vivienne released her spell and returned her staff to her back. 

Reese helped her to the doorframe where she rested her eyes taking in the tense form of Cullen once more. Surana, he had called her Surana. Could it be coincidence that he called out the hero of Fereldan’s name in a daze? Was he just remembering something or was Surana a part of Corypheus’ plan? Renessa shook her head at her circular questioning and barked toward the guards. 

“His fever is to be brought down as quickly as possible, I need him alive for questioning. After that, his fate is his own.” She said turning heading for the door, Reese swooping in to help her move. Her words covered her shaken mind, why did he do that? What comfort had she subconsciously offered? And most disturbing of all – why did she want to go back to his arms? The guards saluted to her as she passed. Remembering her two companions behind her she turned towards them.

“Vivienne, Dorian, if you would check up on him as often as you are able, the healers would appreciate your help.” She said locking eyes with each of them in turn. They nodded at her and she felt a rush of warmth for her friends, glad for a moment that she had been at the conclave otherwise she never would have met these two mages. She spared Cullen another lingering look before shifting her weight forward – Reese held onto her tightly as they moved as one back to her rooms.

Renessa collapsed on her bed, her leg aching and her chest heaving from exhaustion. Reese stood next to her with his arms crossed looking down on her. Renessa snorted in derision and glanced toward her balcony, the sun was just peeking out over the mountains. Funny, it felt to her that a whole day had passed since she had visited Cullen; not a few hours. 

“Now that you’ve seen him and set him to rights, will you stay here for the rest of the day and get better? I can take you down to check on Cullen later tonight if you want.” Reese said moving towards her desk in the corner of her room. He grabbed a stack of unopened scrolls and papers as well as a jar of ink and a quill. “Here,” he said laying out the scrolls on the unoccupied side of her bed, “busy yourself with these, but for the love of the Maker, don’t get out of bed. It’ll do you well to finish up some paperwork. You know, I don’t just write some of these for fun, Ren.” He crossed his arms infront of his chest, “You and Cassandra made me the leader of the Inquisition’s forces; don’t think just because you’ve got a magic green hand that excuses you from paperwork.” He stood up straight, all signs of joking gone from his face. “The Inquisition needs you Ren, we can’t have you out for a month because of a bum leg. This goes beyond our own wants, we have to think bigger than ourselves or we’re doomed.” He glanced away his expression dark.

In all the years they’d been alive, she had never seen her twin look so serious. Renessa cleared her throat and looked at the paperwork beside her, absently pushing around a scroll or two. “I’ll stay in bed. You have my word.” She said quietly, picking up a piece of paper dated three days ago. She kept her head down as Reese left the room, not looking towards the stairwell until his steps had receded enough for her to know he was gone. Renessa dropped the paper and leaned back against her pillows, her mind drifting to the prisoner. 

She was inexplicably drawn to him, even now she could still feel the warmth of his chest as he had pressed her against him. Something tightened in her chest as she thought about him. There was something there inside of him that drew her in. She wanted to know him beyond what he could do to help the Inquisition. She wanted to know him. Who he was, what his life was before now, why he called out Surana and held her close in a lover’s embrace. 

She shook her head and covered her face, her hands sliding into her short hair as she gripped it in frustration. Get over it, Ren, he will probably die from the lyrium if not from the noose. The Templars were not so easy to forgive as she was apparently. He was a criminal, and an addict, he had turned on those who needed him. It would be easy to condemn him. He had basically done it himself. Renessa sighed and turned to her paperwork, her mind moving towards more concrete things out of necessity and far away from the prisoner upstairs. 

\--

He awoke shivering; vague shapes appearing in front of him that resembled unfamiliar people. Shining brilliant lights passed in front of his face as he flinched away from them. Indistinct voices called out orders, he recognized the tone of voice if anything else. His eyes rolled around in his head; unable to focus on anything in particular. He closed them and tried to get his mind in order.

His hands were free but he couldn’t move his feet. Not a particularly smart idea but he could work with it. He needed to get out of here, he wasn’t safe here. The door opened to his left, and two pairs of footsteps walked slowly into his prison. One he could tell had a slight pause before stepping on one leg – an injury perhaps. The other’s steps were heavy and slower, helping the lighter one into the room.

The fresh cold air that rushed through the door made him shiver. The two pairs of feet stopped and one of them sat down on a chair to his left. The other set of heavy footsteps retreated to the doorway and the voice, male, that accompanied it called to the other three people in the room, who swiftly exited. 

He felt his chest lighten, a pressure that he didn’t know existed releasing from his chest as he took in a deep breath. Magic he thought as he felt the sensation creep back slowly into his arms. His hands loosened from his chest and fell to his sides; he could move. He turned slightly to the person sitting next to him. His head had cleared marginally now and he could make out the form of a small woman in the chair. She had a blade sitting across her lap and she raised her hand without looking behind her. The door shut quietly. 

 

She didn’t speak as he looked around at his room with clear eyes. It was a small room, not a bad size, but still small. He sat up on his bed slowly, the rope that bound his feet having enough give for him to sit up straight against the wall behind him which he leaned against, his chest heaving with the effort of moving. The room was barely furnished, just the bed he lay on and the stool on which the woman sat.

He turned to look at her more closely. She was staring at him intently with the greenest color of eyes he had ever seen. Her hair was short and brown and her nose was slightly crooked as if it had been broken in a fight and quickly set. Her mouth had the barest showing of lines around it that spoke of a woman who smiled often. His eyes flicked over the rest of her. She wore some kind of armor that’s name was lost to him but the blade on her lap and the relaxed posture of the woman told him that he wouldn’t win in a fight against her; at least not while he was injured. At least, he thought wryly, my torturer will be the last lovely sight I see before I die. 

Cullen looked away from the distracting woman, his eyes taking in his hands and torso for the first time in the daylight. His veins pulsed red with lyrium, his heart beating faster as he examined his hands and arms noting for the first time how far the corruption had spread within him.

This had not been what he had been promised.

His breathing sped up as the horror of what had been done to him resonated within him. His very being, his essence had been changed, his veins now glowed a sickly red and burned within him even now. This lyrium was nothing like the blue lyrium in the order, the lyrium that had been with him since he had taken his vows was gone now as if it had never been there before. All that was left in its wake was the regret he had for ever believing that something like Corypheus could be trusted. His stomach clenched painfully as his mouth tasted of iron. He covered his face in his hands as his body began to shake from his anger. 

“They’ll fade.” The woman spoke quietly her voice soothing - taking him in. His head whipped towards her, self-loathing evident in his voice as he spoke. “How could you possibly know that?” He said caustically. She glanced toward his bare feet, which as he followed her gaze he noticed that the veins in his feet were a light pink color, not the unsettling red on his chest and arms centered around his heart. The lyrium was moving throughout his body trying to spread itself to fill all of the veins in his system, as such it was growing thinner and thinner as it moved though his body causing it to leave other non-essential parts of him to move to more vital parts. It was the first time he had smiled since he had awoken. He turned towards his captor, trying to figure out what she wanted of him. Her face turned carefully blank as she stared at him. After a few moment she spoke, her hand fingering the blade on her lap.

“Do you know where you are?” She asked her piercing green eyes not looking away from him. He cocked his head at her slightly.

“No. Somewhere in the mountains I’d guess, judging by the fresh air.” She leaned back in her chair and blinked slowly at him. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” She asked suddenly tense. He noted her tenseness with a feeling of confusion, she had the upper hand here, he couldn’t and wouldn’t hurt her.

“I was…visiting a Grey Warden camp, just passing through as I was on my way from Kirkwall to Ferelden when Corypheus infiltrated the camp with the help of a warden mage. Corypheus convinced them to do his bidding and the last thing I remember we were standing in a circle and he was speaking of ending the blights by killing the source. The old gods.” He spoke hesitantly, trying to recall more, but everything was a haze of red pain and nothing he wanted to think about. “I remember…pain. I remember asking – pleading for it to stop. There was…so much blood and anger.” The woman sat there staring at him for a moment before leaning towards him.

“You don’t remember the Temple of Mythal or the Well of Sorrows? You don’t remember Haven or fighting me not only once but many times?” She stared at him unbelieving. He didn’t know who she was. He didn’t remember leading the attack on Haven. This couldn’t be possible. His alliance with Corypheus was the reason her men were dead. His actions caused the pain of hundreds and now she was supposed to believe that he couldn’t remember any of it? 

If that was so, could he really be guilty of the crimes he committed under the influence of a darkspawn magister? Renessa blocked away the thought. No it was simple, he committed the crimes and should therefore be punished for them. Shouldn’t he?

Cullen frowned and concentrated harder on what she was saying. They stirred something inside him but the words couldn’t come. He knew her. He knew her in the way his mind could still rattle off the canticle of Threnodies even though he had not read it in years. He knew her like the sent of sage reminded him of the Hero of Ferelden when she had been just another circle mage. He glanced back up at the woman who was biting her bottom lip and staring at the floor. She looked upset and angry.

“I am sorry for the pain I have unduly caused you. Everything is unclear to me other than that moment in the Grey Warden camp. I-I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to do; the woman looked stricken as she stared at him searchingly. He stared back openly at her. She cursed in Tevinter and looked away from him her hand running through her short hair. Sighing she sheathed her blade and turned towards him. 

“My name is Renessa Trevelyan, and you Cullen Rutherford are a prisoner of the Inquisition. We captured you at the Well of Sorrows when you attempted to stop me from getting to it before Corypheus. You injured many of my men and helped our enemy destroy the town of Haven and countless other crimes. You’re guilt was already decided before we brought you here but now…” The woman, Renessa trailed off running her hands though her hair and then leaning on her elbows towards him. 

“My primary objective is to get you healthy so we can question you, after that your fate will be decided. I have asked a few of the Templars here at Skyhold about your condition. As I understand it your body has relied on the red lyrium for over five months, much longer and you would have turned into an abomination with no hope of saving. As it is, your body is addicted to the lyrium and right now it is slowly being cycled through your body as it dies with nothing to replace it with. My healers administered regular refined lyrium to you while you slept hoping it would counter the effects of the red but the taint of the lyrium was too strong and it corrupted the blue lyrium. That would be my guess as to why you are suddenly lucid. You have been out for more than a week,” She shook her head and got back on track. 

“The only option available to me, as the leader of the Inquisition, is to let your body cycle through the red lyrium, effectively eliminating it over time. The Templars have assured me that while it can be done, no one to our knowledge has ever come back from red lyrium addiction.” She glanced up at him, he was confused by her words. Break his addiction? It had never come to him that he could break free of his lyrium chains that had been a part of his life since he was seventeen. He glanced down at his red lined chest. He wanted the corruption gone from him, if he could cut it out himself he would not have hesitated with the blade. If what she was saying was true, he had done terrible things under the red lyrium’s power. He needed it out of him, he didn’t want to be the monster that it had made him. He didn’t want her to hate him for what he had done unknowingly.

“I will do as you wish, Lady Trevelyan. And when I am free of the red lyrium I will try to tell you everything I can remember if it will help me atone for what I have done.” He stared at his hands avoiding eye contact with the Inquisitor.

“It will hurt; I’ve seen this before in a few of the recruits before we got our lyrium shipments settled.” She said it quietly almost as if to herself. He side eyed her his lips upturning with a self-loathing smirk. 

“I’d wager it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the thought that countless deaths were on your hands and you can’t even remember their faces.” He leaned his head against the wall behind him and stared at the blank wall in front of him. His life had never been easy, why should it start now? They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before her curiosity got the best of her. 

“Who’s Mia?” She asked, the question slipping out of her before she could stop it. His head turned towards her sharply. 

“Where did you hear that name?” He asked cautiously; his family would not be blamed for his actions, willing or unwilling.

“I came to visit you when you were unconscious, you were having a nightmare and you called out Mia and –“ She broke off, her face heating slightly as she coughed and continued “ and then you fell unconscious once more.” She said glancing at the floor as she finished, her hand coming up to rub behind her neck nervously. 

“I-she-she is…” Cullen began staring at the woman, deciding if the information would be safe if he let it slip, “she is no one important.” He finished deciding that Mia and her children would not be harmed because of his mistakes. He didn’t want to think the worst of this woman who had been nothing but kind to him – for some reason – but he would not put his siblings in danger. 

Renessa’s ears picked up the lie instantly, years of living with her brother had taught her to catch the subtle nuances of speech and Cullen was a poor liar if she had ever saw one. She shook her head slightly; the question wasn’t really relevant anyways. Let him keep his secret, perhaps later if he trusted her more she would find the answer. She didn’t know why she needed to know, only that it had been nagging at her since this morning. She let the question drop and stared at him as he looked away. 

His noticed that his throat was dry as he stared at the wall in front of him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had something to drink. It was unsettling to him to not know his own mind, he glanced at the lyrium imbedded in his skin; even now nothing was as it should be. The familiar powerful hum of the lyrium in his blood was intensified. His skin felt too small for his body. His mind was convinced that if he were to touch the red lines scoring his skin they would be raised above the rest; pulsing with their unsettling glow. 

“How many?” He asked quietly staring at his hands; he didn’t know if he wanted the truth from her or not. 

She hesitated, considering lying to him to save him the pain that she herself felt for the responsibility of her men. “Countless.” She whispered back at him, unsure why she was answering him. He was after all a traitor to Thedas, and a murderer – he should have no right to ask anything. 

Yet, he seemed…shocked by the fact that months had passed since Corypheus had risen and caused the explosion at the conclave. Everything in her body was telling her that this man was not the same man that led the red Templar army against Haven. This man was not the one who she faced in the Temple of Mythal. This man was new and different and a victim as much as any one of her fallen soldiers. 

Cullen took in her word, closing his eyes against his disgust. He was meant to protect people, save people from the evils that magic can cause. It was his charge to protect the Hero of Fereldan in the circle tower; he had failed in that regard. It was his duty to the citizens of Kirkwall to protect them from harm; he had failed to do so. I was his responsibility to try and head off the insurrection of the mages of Thedas and instead he had been turned into a puppet to the worst magister darkspawn bastardization in history. You couldn’t even accomplish dying for something worthwhile could you? He told himself brutally. It would have been easier for him if those abominations had just finished off the job in the Fereldan Circle. Cullen turned his head away from Renessa and said nothing. 

“I will have Dorian put you under a paralysis spell, it should help you with the pain as your body adjusts to the lack of lyrium in your system.” Renessa said breaking the silence, standing shakily her leg barely holding her up. 

Cullen made no move of acknowledgement. 

Renessa paused hoping for an answer. 

“Whatever you have done, with or without your knowledge, doesn’t mean you should suffer unduly. The glyph will help-“ He interrupted her harshly. 

“Don’t excuse my actions Lady Trevelyan,” His voice was controlled but firm. “The glyph is not necessary.” He scooted down on the bed and turned away from her, ending the conversation. Renessa nodded and turned towards the door opening it hastily and closing it behind her firmly.

“He’s refusing to go under the spell.” She said walking slowly away from the group that was still outside the door. She spoke to Dorian who would be staying with the man as he fought through the red lyrium. Dorian raised one eyebrow before nodding the affirmative. His withdrawal would not be easy on anyone. 

Renessa started for the door that led to Vivienne’s study. She hovered outside the door for a moment before tilting her head toward her shoulder slightly. “Keep him safe.” She turned away and opened the door disappearing behind it as suddenly as she had come. 

\--

Renessa tried to stay away from Cull-the prisoner. It wasn’t her place to play nursemaid to a prisoner of war. She had other things to do than make sure he was still alive. 

Her resolve lasted for an hour after she awoke. She headed up to see him her leg feeling slightly better, not really knowing what to expect. Dorian had warned her that every case was different – he had spent hours in the library looking into Lyrium withdrawal – that since this lyrium was different than the blue lyrium and more potent the chances were that he wouldn’t survive the process. 

It weighed heavily on Renessa that she needed to be there. It was a tug in her gut that pulled her to him, even if he didn’t want her there. It was necessary for her peace of mind to be there for him. Before she knew it she was at Cullen’s room and pushing the door open, her leg not bothering her much after her rest. 

The room was as it was before other than the addition of another cot for the healers that took turns – according to Vivienne – looking over Cullen as he declined. One of the younger healers – Lucas she believed he was called – was sleeping in the corner of the room. The young man looked exhausted. Unable to keep her interest under wraps any longer; Renessa looked over at Cullen’s bed, tensing as she took in the state of him.

He was tense and unconscious on his cot; his body was covered in sweat and the red lyrium was pulsing sickly under his pale skin. His head twitched back and forth sporadically. His eyes were closed tightly and his fists were clinched beside him as he lay, restless on the cot. Renessa glanced toward the door and then back at Cullen. The chair from yesterday was still there next to him. What harm could it do to sit with him for a while? After all, she had already answered the most pressing correspondence and being the leader of the Inquisition had to have some kind of perk. Nodding absently to herself she sat down next to him. 

It was quiet in the room. The soft snores of the apprentice healer and the occasional scuffle of the sheet as the man moved were the only ambient sounds that she was aware of; all of her focus was on the man before her. He intrigued her. Everything about him was a study of opposites. He was built like a warrior yet spoke like a gentleman. His past was not his fault – she could see now – yet he took the blame for it. He acted as if all responsibility fell on his shoulders but would hear nothing about how it wasn’t his duty to be the scapegoat for Corypheus. Everything he had done since he had awoken had led her to the idea of a man who would do whatever he could to save as many as he could. From the broken question of how many to the lies about the woman named Mia. While it may have been his body under Corypheus’ thrall his mind was blissfully unaware of any wrongdoing. He wasn’t the kind of man to commit the crimes he had been accused of; of that she was certain.

Cullen stirred on the bed before her. His red eyes locked on hers as he reached out to grab her right hand. 

“Mia, take your children - go, I need you safe – its not safe – Im not safe. Go. Please.” His voice was horse and low as he squeezed her hand hard. “I cannot do this.” He looked away from her as if he were speaking to someone else, his voice softening. “It isn’t right.” Renessa shifted towards him, his eyes moved back to her face. “Be safe. Promise me.” He whispered his hand loosening. Renessa couldn’t speak, he must have been hallucinating. His other hand reached out to grab her wrist squeezing painfully. “Promise me!” His voice was frantic and higher in his throat than any noises she had heard from him before now. Not knowing what to do she reached out with her left hand, the green mark glowing softly and cupped the side of his face trying to soothe him. 

“I promise.” She whispered, her hand stroking his jaw as her mark pulsed without her knowledge. Cullen leaned into her hand and released her wrist, his body growing slack as he fell unconscious once more. Renessa’s left hand stayed on his face for a moment, her mind racing with what he had said. It was a delusion obviously but of what? Who could garner such a reaction from him? Her hand stroked his jaw once more before she pulled away, the green mark on her palm flaring as she stood up and left the room. She was breathing heavily and needed air. She didn’t look back as she fled. 

\--  
It had been three days since her unprompted visit and she had kept herself busy with all of the little things that she had been neglecting while out making connections for the Inquisition. She visited Master Dennett and helped with the care of her charger, she had drinks in the bar with Bull and Sera, she learned more about Josephine and her life before the Inquisition. But mostly, she trained with Cassandra. It was perfect – the two women understood each other, Renessa thought of her as a sister and she liked to think Cass felt the same way. They didn’t need to talk anything over for Cassandra to know something was wrong with her friend. 

Cassandra parried the blow of Renessa’s daggers off the side of her shield as she feinted to Ren’s right but struck left. Renessa narrowly danced out of the way recovering while Cassandra flourished her sword to the left and right of her body.

“You need to focus! Where is your mind? If this had been a real match, you would be dead.” Cassandra taunted the woman knowing that it would get a rise out of her. Renessa didn’t think just charged at the warrior. Cassandra braced and lowered her shield as Renessa approached. Cass forced her shield on the woman’s stomach and using her arms she flipped her over her head and onto the ground. Renessa stayed down her hands flung over her head, her twin daggers had flown out of her reach from the impact. Cassandra set down her weapons and reached out a hand to help her friend up, Renessa ignored it and pushed herself up off the ground.

“These lessons won’t help much if you don’t learn from your mistakes. What is bothering you? Where is your mind?” Cassandra picked up her sword and shield sheathing the sword and throwing the shield over her shoulder she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for her friend to talk to her.

Renessa was disgruntled, she had heard nothing of the prisoner, and the very fact that she wanted to know for personal reasons angered her more than anything. Renessa glanced up at Cassandra who was still waiting for a reply. 

“It’s nothing I’m just tired. My – leg isn’t fully healed.” She made up the excuse and judging by Cassandra’s upturned eyebrow, the lie wasn’t fooling anyone. Renessa sighed and kicked the dirt under her foot. Cassandra nodded, disappointed and turned to go to the armory to clean her weapons. Renessa cursed, grabbed her daggers and followed her. 

“Cass it isn’t anything bad per say – I just – I don’t know how to put it into words. By all accounts the way I am feeling is crazy and stupid and unbefitting of a commander but I just – ” They were inside the deserted armory as she finished her thought, her hands reaching for her daggers to clean them. She grabbed the oil and rags and sat at the table that Cassandra had sat at, and handed her the tools as a peace offering. Cassandra nodded and set them down turning her full attention to her friend. 

“Your words make no sense, Ren. What is troubling you?” She asked calmly, her hand reaching out to place it on top of Renessa’s. She relaxed slightly at Cassandra’s touch, for such a tough warrior there was a side to her that Renessa was privileged to see, a softer side, one that cared for her friends fiercely and wanted them to be happy. Renessa smiled at the gesture and took a deep breath.

“I – I am troubled by Commander Cullen. I find myself thinking about him when I should be focused on other things. I worry about him constantly and I cannot help but empathize with his situation. And then when I find myself thinking well of him I remember all of the men and women that we have lost and how his decisions have played a part in their deaths and that makes me feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty about thinking well of him. And now I find it hard to physically restrain myself from rushing up to his sick room while he is recovering and holding his hand until he is well again to speak. Am I going mad?” Her confession welled up inside of her spilling out without her control, it felt good to speak about her confusion to someone she was so tired of feeling alone. 

Cassandra took in this information like a good tactician, nodding thoughtfully as her friend spoke. After a moment of silence she spoke.

“Why do you believe he is innocent of his crimes? Many can place him there at Haven as well as you yourself seeing him at the Well.” She asked quietly, her hand still placed on Renessa’s. 

Renessa swallowed harshly before beginning. She told Cassandra what Cullen had said about what he remembered, about how he seemed so genuinely upset about the red lyrium and how remorseful and the revulsion in his manner when she told him what he had caused. She was about to speak about his hallucinations and the way he had gripped her to him tightly but she bit her tongue and let Cassandra think about it.

Cassandra took her hand away from Renessa and pushed some hair out of her eyes before standing and pacing the length of the table. 

“If what he says is true then I am inclined to believe him as well, but the matter remains that if he can remember anything from his time with Corypheus then he is still useful to us. As for the other matter, it is simple; you feel attraction to him and this is why you cannot think around clearly regarding him.” Renessa looked up sharply.

“Don’t be ridiculous. He is a prisoner of the Inquisition for Maker’s sake.” 

“An all but exonerated prisoner, you said so yourself did you not that you believed him to be innocent. Can I assume that he will not be executed for his crimes?” Cassandra stopped her pacing and quirked one eye brow at Renessa, already knowing the answer. 

Renessa cursed and looked away from Cassandra’s penetrating stare. Ren grabbed the cleaning supplies and began to oil her weapons, looking for a distraction - any distraction to avoid acknowledging the truth she felt weighing heavily in her gut like a lead stone.

Cassandra braced her hands on the table in front of her, leaning in to make her point to her friend.

“There is nothing to be ashamed of,” she spoke quietly, “everyone deserves to feel like this. It is really the only good thing humans have ever done right.” Her words were soothing and Renessa dropped her daggers and buried her hands in her hair, still not looking at Cassandra. 

“What are you afraid of Ren?” 

Renessa tensed at the table where she sat. What was she afraid of? Him not feeling the same way, him being too entrenched in his guilt to feel anything other than it. She was afraid that he would die from his injuries, it kept her awake at night that he would slip away from her before she could even know him while she slept in her comfortable bed. She worried that he would find her lacking in some way as many had before. The words of countless men before her laughed as they found her wanting; too brash, too manly, too out spoken and not womanly. What was she afraid of?

“Everything.” She replied faintly, it was the easiest answer to give her. “The Inquisition believes him to be a mass murderer, even if he was working under blood magic. He is currently suffering from the effects of the red lyrium and to top it all off, I haven’t had one actual damn conversation with the man without us bringing up both of those topics. There is no reason to feel like this Cass, none at all.”

“And yet you do.” She replied simply. “And you owe it to yourself to try to figure out why. Our senses are rarely ever wrong Renessa. Trust your gut.” Renessa looked up at Cass her face indecisive and then she smiled faintly.

“How did you get to be so smart?” Renessa asked rhetorically. Cassandra leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Many, many mistakes.” She replied with a laugh. Renessa stood and sheathed her now clean daggers on her back before heading towards the door.

“And where are you off to?” Cassandra asked innocently, her hands reaching for her blade and the cleaning oil.

“I’ve some paperwork that I’ve just remembered Reese needs right away.” Renessa said without turning back towards Cassandra as she reached the door.

Cassandra laughed shortly and muttered under her breath as the door closed, “I’m sure.” The woman was in for a wake-up call and Cassandra did love a good intrigue. 

\--

Renessa did not head back to her chambers, she headed to the place her head had been keeping her away from for the last three days. As she passed by Vivienne’s study she could swear she saw a disapproving quirk of an eyebrow on her face but she pressed on. She was the leader of this Inquisition and her business was her own.

She flung the door to Cullen’s room open startling the healer that was inside; a younger one, one she didn’t know who scurried out as she entered hiding his face. Renessa disregarded him as he passed by her, her focus entirely on Cullen. 

He did not look good. His complexion was muted and gray his body still covered in sweat and the red lyrium was glowing more strongly than she had ever seen it. His body was shaking she could see from the tenseness of his shoulders. Renessa glanced around the room the stool had been taken away from where it had sat before. She hesitated for a moment before sitting on the cot next to his chest her hand resting right next to his, not touching him. His breathing was shallow and harsh, his eyebrows furrowed and tense as his eyes darted around under his eyelids left and right chasing shadows that she couldn’t see. 

Renessa startled as he let out a low whine from the back of his throat his head tossing back and forth on the bed. Unthinkingly Renessa grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed, her touch had helped before perhaps it would help now. His hand gripped hers but his shaking and trembling increased if anything. Cullen’s head whipped over to face her and that was when she saw the mark on his right shoulder. 

The mark was black and was spreading outward from the center of his shoulder. It was an unnatural darkness that spread out like a spider web making its way up his neck and towards his heart. Renessa leaned forward and touched the spot her hands came away sticky with a small amount of blood and the black substance, it burned her finger where it coated her. She knew that sting.  
Deathroot. 

She dropped Cullen’s hand and headed for the door calling out for Vivienne and sending the guard who was coming up for patrol off to find Dorian. She turned and came back into the room grabbing the pitcher of water off of the bedside table and pouring some of the water on his wound. Cullen’s back arched cruelly as he let out an unhuman scream of pain, his eyes still closed. 

Vivienne rushed through the door as Cullen’s scream faded off and his body settled on the bed again shaking violently. Renessa wiped off the residue of the deathroot powder on his body that had been neutralized by the water.

“He’s been poisoned. Deathroot.” She choked out as Vivienne turned and went back to her study grabbing her staff and potions set. Dorian nearly ran her over as they both came back to the room where Renessa sat her hand grasped in Cullen’s her other hand running a soothing hand over his brow.

“Do something.” She pleaded focusing her attention on the two mages her voice not the controlled commander they knew her to be. Dorian and Vivienne sprung into action, Dorian casting a paralysis glyph around Cullen to keep him still and Vivienne digging in her kit to concoct an antitoxin for deathroot.

“Since we do not know the exact formula the assassin used I will just have to guess since he or she was so sloppy they didn’t combine it with nightshade which would have killed him instantly. No it was probably…” She trailed off as she started mixing liquids in a small vial and conjuring a flame in her hand to heat the concoction as she stirred with her other hand. 

Renessa kept her concentration on Cullen trying to keep him calm, the faster his heart raced the faster the poison would rush through his system. Her left hand absently stroked his face her green mark flaring up again but not doing him any harm; in fact it seemed to ease his breathing with every stroke she made. Finally Vivienne announced that it was ready she stood from the table where she had been working and leaned over Cullen her hands opening his mouth slightly as she tipped the potion down his throat her hand covering his mouth before he could spit it up. She tilted his head back so that he would swallow down the mixture. After he had she stepped back and glanced at Dorian who was still holding the paralysis glyph and then at Renessa who was looking at Cullen intensely. Just as she thought. 

“That is all we can do for now other than keep him comfortable. If he is as strong as I believe he is he will pull through.” Vivienne nodded to Dorian and the Inquisitor and turned and grabbed her things before leaving the room. Dorian released the spell, the glyph still lingering before he too headed for the door. Renessa stopped him before he could leave. 

“Dorian, will you bring my brother here? I need to speak to him.” She asked him quietly, her voice low. Dorian who was no ones messenger hesitated before nodding and leaving the room, the fierce woman that he had come to admire and respect had looked…torn as she stayed by the prisoner’s side. He owed it to her to do this for her, he had never seen her look like that towards anyone.   
Renessa relaxed as they left the room closing the door as they went. Her eyes settled on Cullen and his chest breathing out even breaths as he slept. He was out of danger now she reasoned with herself, there was no need to be upset. But inside she was fuming. Someone had come into her castle and tried to poison the only link they had to Corypheus, not only that but no one had been on duty outside Cullen’s rooms except the guard that circled the battlements every ten minutes. How had this happened? Who would never – her mind stopped suddenly.

The healer. 

The man who had brushed by her so quickly she hadn’t even seen his face. He wouldn’t be questioned, the Inquisition needed healers more than soldiers now and it was rare to find one with enough training to be much good to anyone much less actually want to join the Inquisition. It must have been him.

The door opened again and Renessa dropped her hand from Cullen’s face turning to see who it was. Reese’s shadow hovered in the doorway.

“Come in.” She called to him as he came fully in the room his features lit up by the torchlight in the dark room. 

“Dorian said he’s been poisoned but he should recover?” He asked coming closer to Renessa who made no move to get up. She nodded looking up to him.

“Yes, but it will probably affect his recovery from the lyrium.” She said glancing back to Cullen’s face and then back to her brother’s. “The man who poisoned him was leaving as I came in. Shut the gates and search for him. Send out the mabari’s to search the surrounding mountainside, he cannot have gotten far. We must not let him get away with this. Find him Reese please.” She pleaded with her brother and Reese nodded and turned to go. 

Renessa watched him leave her attention not going back to Cullen until he squeezed her hand that still held his. She placed her left hand back on his forehead, something warm settling in her stomach as he relaxed at her touch. 

\--

She did not leave his side for three more days as he stayed under his delirium. She kept his fever down and talked him through his nightmares where he called out unfamiliar names and screamed himself hoarse. She kept him from choaking on his own sick when his body expelled the soup that she had so painstakingly fed him only hours before. She kept him company and watched over him, praying to anything that would listen to spare him from the taint of the red lyrium. 

Her companions came in and out to keep her company and to sometimes bring her food. Her brother tried to convince her to let the healers handle Cullen’s recovery but Renessa could not bring herself to do so. 

The man who poisoned Cullen was never caught. He had escaped through the gates before they shut and was gone before the dogs could catch his scent. It kept Renessa awake most nights but she kept a vigilant watch over Cullen knowing that should the assassin show himself again she would be there to deal with him personally. But she rather doubted that he would; assassins that fail to kill their marks had a tendency to be killed in punishment for not fulfilling their mission. 

As it was Cullen recovered slowly, the red lyrium fading to almost nothing except a remarkable series of scars running all over his torso. And although to most they would be unsightly she knew the battle he faced to get them and they could be nothing short of beautiful to her. 

His fever had broken early the third morning of her vigilance with the last tinges of red fading to nothing. It was dark outside and Renessa had been at Cullen’s side reading to him softly as he slept. It was one of Varric’s books The Tale of the Champion and to Renessa it seemed like a load of crap but it was a pleasant distraction and it was still nice to think that a hero such as Hawke could actually exist. And since she had actually met the real Hawke and had learned first-hand the kind of woman she was Renessa was inclined to believe that Varric had made at least half of it up. 

She was reading the beginning chapters because they were her favorite; the doom and gloom of the second part and the third always made her feel sad for Hawke. She had gotten to the part about how Hawke and her family had flown on a dragon to Kirkwall when a soft voice interrupted her.

“…there wasn’t a dragon, I would have remembered that.” The voice was Cullen’s and the fact that he was awake had surprised her so much that she dropped the book and grabbed his hand, pulling away quickly after making contact. She stood up fast and grabbed a glass and the pitcher of water her hands shaking slightly as she poured a glass for him to drink. 

Unbeknownst to her Cullen glanced at his hand that she had touched and wondered why she had done that and why she had pulled away so quickly. He shook his head and moved to sit up against the wall as he had done so many days ago; noticing this time that his feet were free as well as his hands. His muscles screamed in protest but he fought through it and leaned heavily against the wall his breathing a little more taxed than he hoped it would be. 

Renessa handed him the glass as he leaned back noting his breathing and his level of exhaustion as had become routine in the past three days. He looked blissfully…normal. His heartbeat looked steady and he wasn’t covered in sweat as he had been. His eyes were alert and for the first time she could see the natural amber color that had been covered by the sickly red of the corrupted lyrium in his system. If it weren’t for the scars on him she would think that he had just had the winter sickness as so many had before him. 

She didn’t know what to do. Everything was different when she was his caregiver and he was unconscious. It was so much easier to be herself around him when he wasn’t awake to respond to her. As ridiculous as she knew it was she couldn’t help but think of the first time she had visited him and the warmth of him as he had held her close. Yes she liked it better when he was unconscious. 

Cullen took the water and drank from it deeply some of the liquid missing his mouth and dribbling to his chin, he finished the drink and wiped away the excess sighing softly with content. He handed back the glass to Renessa and watched her as she walked back to the table and set it down before turning back toward him, her face blank.

“Do you remember anything?” She asked quietly, moving the chair from the table to sit beside him once more as she had all those days ago. 

He hesitated and closed his eyes rubbing his hands through his hair roughly before looking at the woman again. “Yes,” he replied “I can remember most everything with clarity of my time with Corypheus. I remember the people he had me torture and the orders he had me give.” He paused looking away from her searching eyes. “I remember it like I was watching it happen to someone else. I- I cannot remember doing it but I remember seeing myself do it. Does that-does that make sense?” He glanced up at her, she nodded slightly letting him continue. “I don’t care what happens to me Inquisitor. If I am found guilty then I am found guilty. But allow me to tell you what I remember first.” 

Renessa held up her hand and stood to go to the door to get one of the guards to summon her advisors. She retreated to her chair and waited for their arrival, not looking at Cullen as they waited in silence. 

Reese, Lilliana, Josephine and Cassandra all arrived eventually and once everyone was there she allowed Cullen to speak.

He spoke about Corypheus’ plans for the Well of Sorrows and how he had plans for the information that now resided in Morrigan’s head. He needed a way to physically enter the fade and he planned to do so with the eluvians but now that that plan was foiled he would need something else. Cullen spoke of how Corypheus acted and the different deals with demons that he made as well as the dragon that had sided with Corypheus. 

Her advisors took this information in and all exited the room one by one until it was just the two of them left. Cullen broke the silence first.

“That is all the relevant information I have for you Lady Trevelyan. I await –” She interrupted him softly. 

“Renessa.” She said looking at him from under her lashes from where she sat on her chair. “Please call me Renessa.” She sat up straighter and smiled softly at him. He blushed slightly and scratched the back of his neck before answering her.

“Alright, Renessa, I ah- await you and your advisor’s judgement of me.” He looked away from her ready to accept anything she said. He had done enough damage. 

“Don’t beg for the sword just yet commander,” She said standing up and brushing her hands on her pants, her fingers pressing down slightly on the wound that no longer pained her “my advisors and I have spoken at length on your situation, and we have all agreed if you were to come up with any viable information on Corypheus you would be expunged of all charges and under the protection of the Inquisition. Lilliana has spread the rumor that you were acting under the Inquisition’s orders to find out what Corypheus was planning and you have come through for us. Therefore we are under the opinion that there is no need to take your life.” She finished standing tall in front of him her face lit up in a small smile that, Cullen thought, suited her. 

Cullen stared at her unbelieving. This was…not anything that he could have ever expected. He expected imprisonment at best and death at worst. Freedom had never even been a thought for him. What he had done was inexcusable.

“I cannot allow that Inquisitor the things I have done – any sane person would have me hanged on the spot yet you offer redemption? Why?” He was confused and angry that a noble death had been taken from him, yet again. It seemed his lot to never be able to do the right thing when it counted.

“Why?” She asked surprised “Because of all of the people I have seen under Corypheus’ thrall you are the only one to show remorse. Because you are the only one to be so close to him and survive. Because you not only never surrendered to the red lyrium –which shows a remarkable strength of character – but because you wouldn’t stop fighting even when an assassin had come in to poison you because of your ties to Corypheus.” His head snapped up to look at her surprised. 

“Yes you were poisoned and hurt and you may have gone through it but I watched it Commander Cullen and that is enough of a punishment for the both of us. I am giving you a new life Cullen; a new start here in the Inquisition where no one outside the six of us knows the truth. Stay here with us and atone for your own mind if you must; fight for the Inquisition. But know that I have already forgiven you for your past. You know what will happen if we fail Commander, we can use you here. You are worth nothing to us” to me, she thought, “dead.” 

Her hands raked through her hair as she finished speaking to him, surprised that all of that had come out of her. But she had meant what she said and she let her arms fall to her sides watching him as he processed her words. 

He watched her relax after her tirade, her head coming up confidently and powerfully. This was the woman he expected from the Inquisition. She was nothing like what he thought she would be from what he remembered. He remembered the battle at the Well and how fierce she had fought, how could he reconcile that with the caring woman who grabbed his hand when he awoke. Had she been here the whole time he was sick? Why? For what purpose? If nothing else he wanted to know the answers more than he wanted to die. Was it nobler then to fight for this intriguing women? To get revenge on Corypheus for what he had made him do? To stop him from ever hurting anyone and to send him back to the hell where he belonged? Yes he thought that would do well enough. 

“I-don’t know what to say. Only, thank you for this chance Inqui– Renessa.” He corrected quickly at her upturned brow. “I will not fail you.” He would stay and work to protect her, Renessa from Corypheus and maybe wash away his sins by defeating the monster in combat at her side. For that though he would have to get well and train with the other members of this Inquisition. His body hummed with excitement to move and get the hell out of this room. He was sure he would be watched but he would give them no reason to doubt his loyalty.

Cullen struggled to his feet and then dropped to one knee in front of Renessa.

“You have spared my life and therefore it is forfeit to you and your cause. I will stand with you in the fight against Corypheus or die trying. I swear on my life and my sword; both of which are yours to command Inquisitor.” His head bowed he only stood after she commanded him to rise. 

She took his hand in hers grasping it firmly enjoying the feel of his warm hand on hers and the small twinge of tightness in her chest as his hand lingered in hers. She noted that this was the first time they were both awake for the contact she shook his hand and clapped her other hand on his shoulder. 

“Welcome to the Inquisition Commander Cullen.” She said smiling. She didn’t know what - if anything was to come about between them. The only thing she knew was that she owed it to him to help him as much as she could, it was after all the least she could do. She released his hand and shoulder and stepped away heading for the door and her room she hadn’t seen in three days. 

She paused at the open door her hand lingering on the frame as she called out over her shoulder.

“Oh and Cullen?” He turned to acknowledge her. She smiled playfully “We leave for the Frostback Basin in two days. You’ll need to see the armorer about weapons and clothing. I expect you to be ready.” She left closing the door behind her not waiting for his reply. 

He laughed truly for the first time in months as she shut the door, “Of course my lady, at once.” He said to the empty room, unsure for the first time in his life exactly what tomorrow would bring.


End file.
